Contained within these pages is my life
It's full of calm and full of strife
Full of yearning to cry and grin
Full of yearning to see within

Secrets written just for me
And privileged eyes, like yours, to see
Poems and songs, stories and dreams
Lives falling apart at all the seams

So if you wish to peek inside
Take a look, the words won't hide
Just remember, what you'll see
Is written by, and only by, me

Eric Nomorrnnos
Jacarath
Rauthiss

Hey, and welcome to the LJ of Jac. Due to personal reasons, most of the stuff in here will be friend locked. Certain things, like poems and such, will be public. If you'd like to be added, comment on this post with:
1.) Where I know you from
2.) Why you'd like to be added
3.) A second way to contact you, outside of LJ

(If I've added you, you don't need to do any of these steps. ;D)

Well, on you go!

Feeling:: thoughtful

Dad:

You seem to always want to be my friend, not my enemy. Hell, there are times when I really like talking or debating in a friendly fashion with you. But if you don't want to be my enemy, if you don't want to be a dictator or the "big bad dad", don't be one. One thing that especially bugs me is the bedtime thing. You started it as a punishment, not as a new family rule. And yet somehow, after a week, the punishment over some, and I quote, "stupid little fight", became permanent. I know I've talked to you about this before, but I feel like I'm not being heard, and it's not just this. Too many times it's not my choice what I do. Like the class you have me take on Saturday mornings. I tell you it makes me irritable when I have to get up at 5:45 every morning, with no chance at all to sleep in during the week. I tell you that I don't feel that the class suits me, seeing as I'm 3 years older than the second oldest student. (Who is my brother. Otherwise, it's 8.) But my opinion, and my backing up of it, just doesn't seem to matter to you. Because every saturday morning when I say "Dad, I don't want to go anymore." I just get a "Too bad, sucks for you." If you want to treat me like an adult, and expect me to act like the young adult I am, then fucking let me be one. When I ask for, say, relaxed bedtime rules, and provide valid reasons, don't tell me shit like "Well that's the way it has been, and that worked." Fucking dictatorships work. Our fucking president works, albeit not very well. I can tell you all kinds of flawed ideas that "work". How do I have to prove to you that I know what the fuck I'm talking about? When I ask for no bedtime, you tell me to prove that I can live with these rules. I ALREADY FUCKING HAVE. I LIVED WITH THEM FOR ALL OF MIDDLE SCHOOL AND THE FIRST HALF OF MY FRESHMAN YEAR. hear that? THREE AND A HALF YEARS. I don't even know what the big problem with me setting my own guidelines along those terms is. I can be quiet; Hell, for a while, you had no idea I was doing it. I don't bother you and mom when you're "trying to get to sleep", which I have yet to believe. (especially when I can hear you and mom going at it at night. my bedroom is RIGHT BELOW YOURS, you know.) The fact is, if you have such a problem with it, explain to me why it is a problem. Hell, Mom's fine with me using a flashlight to read at night (or, coincidentally, any source of light). Ask her, she's told me it's fine. The fact is, Dad, I'm 15, turning 16 in less than a month. I'm leaving the house in two freaking years. I've talked with mom about attending community college for two years before moving. You know why I'm so desparate to get out of this house? YOu know why I'm, in all probability, not going to take that choice? Because as I've grown up, some of your restrictions have tightened. Sure, I can walk an hour to the library and back. you let my brother do that at 12. TWELVE. Why don't you let me be an adult by being one. And maybe listening to this.

~[Jac]

Tags: adulthood, angry, dad, growing, pissed off
Feeling:: bitchy

rawr.

My comp is down.
I'll try to get it back up ASAP.

Might throw y'all a voice post tmrw.

Typed with iTouch.

Feeling:: annoyed

Peace.
Jac.

Feeling:: melancholy

Some of those made sense...some didn't. :P



The last two there made me laugh. XD

Feeling:: amused

I had to write a 3-page, double spaced story for a school contest, and this worked it's way out. Sorry if anybody feels overly referenced - it hasn't been turned in, so if somebody feels uncomfortable, I can always write a new one. I wanted to make it longer, but 3 pages was the max. 

 

As an exercise in my youth group, every person in it was asked to write down their beliefs. (I LOVE my church! :3) I figured that you all might want to hear it too.

 

Feeling:: thoughtful

I made a new icon, based on my love for mathematics. Anybody is free to use as long as credit is given.



Like it?

It's not too obvious I love math, is it?

Feeling:: accomplished

Feeling:: accomplished

I updated my userinfo, including those new pronouns I was talking about. :D

Feeling:: accomplished